Bachelorette Party Planning for Idiots

It's no mean feat planning the last party for your BFF as a single woman. There's the unspoken understanding of responsibility that is placed on your shoulders by your best girl friend who is in love and who is planning her big day, probably the biggest party she'd have to plan for in her life.

Pulling off an unforgettable bachelorette party can be loads of fun but it's not all that easy if you want it done well. There's so much organisation and communication involved and that can be a real challenge when you're dealing with multiple bridesmaids and a bride whose pre-wedding schedule is already packed.

The easiest way to stay on top of your party-planning game: start early, research the options, be flexible to feedback and have fun. It's no fun being pressured to have fun so prepare well.

When to party?

About a month in advance of the wedding is a good time, it's not so close to the big day that the bride will be stressed or too busy to have fun but not so far away that it will seem anticlimactic.

Invitees

Ask the bride-to-be who she wants invited and then track down all their e-mail addresses and phone numbers. Generally, all bridesmaids, bride's sisters and sisters-in-law get invited, barring the odd bad blood relation. But it could also thaw the ice and mend family feuds if done mindfully. If the bride has future sisters-in-law, it's a good bet to include them, even if they're not super-close.

What to do?

Some people get caught up in what a bachelorette party is "supposed" to be from watching Hollywood depictions and from attending previous bachelorette parties. But not all ladies dream of night-club hopping wearing a novelty wedding veil and drinking through penis straws (some might....so know your friend or ask as many leading questions as she'll allow). Think about your friend's personality, and try to plan something you know she'd love doing, whether that's a winery tour, surf lessons, or a classy poolside tea cocktail party at home. And if you're unsure, just ask her!

Budget

Discuss with the other bridesmaids how much each of you can afford to spend on the night, and negotiate until everyone is agreeable. Give them some ideas and indicative prices for each activity. (Remember, the bride doesn't pay for anything; her costs should be absorbed by the wedding party.)

Are presents a must?

Presents are not required to gain admittance to this party. There is a misconception that every wedding-related activity has to involve gifts. It can be fun watching the bride open box after box of every kind of lingerie imaginable but it certainly shouldn't be mandatory. Spending time having fun with her girl posse is the memorable experience she'll want to cherish.

Getting there and back

Depending on where you're going, what you're doing, and how many people are coming along, you might want to hire a limo, a car service, a party bus, Uber …whatever. But it's crucial to have a way to safely transport a gaggle of girls who, let's be honest, will most likely be drinking throughout the night. Or hold the party at someone's house and have a sleepover. That way you cut the transportation expense and revelry can go on safely.

To post or not to post?

Not everyone wants every embarrassing detail of her life posted to Facebook or is comfortable with her boss scrolling past a photo of her taking tequila shots on Instagram. Before the night gets underway, ask the girls what they are cool with having posted, and pass that intel onto the rest of the party —before everyone's had four rounds of margaritas.

My experience

So this is the 3rd bachelorette party I've planned and the least stressed out I've been hosting one. The biggest difference for this party was that it was held at the bride's home. Being a successful corporate woman, our bride-to-be was not into loud club scenes or adventure sports (no risk of bruises or breaking a nail) so I called around a few places and settled on Tarakona, an Auckland based tea company that can do tea parties too.

Honestly, it was the best decision to go with something authentically in good taste. Having someone else set up a beautiful table of finger foods, 'fill your own teabag' station, cocktail tools and liquors took the hassle out of shopping for food and drinks and setting it all up myself.

The company takes everything away at the end so that's such a convenience too. All I had to do was pick the music and kick back with the girl pals. It was awesome and such a breeze. We had such a worry-free night and the bride said she honestly felt it was the most fun she'd had without any pressure to have fun.